I’ve wanted to properly write and share this post since Mid-April until I realized that this is a bittersweet month and time of year for me. As the seasons change life happens and I adapt as life throws its many curve balls my way. Time passes that I can never reclaim, so I make the most of it.
My health is never the best during this time of year. Although I am stacked up with medication and I am actively taking them for my allergies as a preventative measure, I always seem to look like a puffer fish this time of year. I had a swollen lymph node underneath my chin, my eyes were fat and bulging out of my face, and from my throat up was burning as if my neck and face were on fire. Game of Thrones has nothing my allergies.
Let me tell you, I looked lovely, and everything was going peachy for me.
Anyway, I paid it no mind because it happens every single year despite my many attempts to prevent such terrible health catching up to me. I was happy because I would be celebrating my seventh year living in the United States on the 12th. I had always dreamed of someday moving to the US when I was younger, but that dream was to live in NY or somewhere warm, and I am so close to reaching that goal. I didn’t o much in the way of celebration, but I did pat myself on the shoulder for surviving such harsh weather conditions with much humility.
As the next few days passed, I realized that on my paternal grandfather passed on April 17, 2016, just a few minutes before the clock hit 12 to start another day. This year on the 22nd, also a few minutes before a new day, my only living grandparent died. My maternal grandmother passed away in her home surrounded by loved ones, as she was preparing to go to the hospital because she wasn’t doing too well.
I don’t properly deal with or process the death of any of my loved ones. I don’t think I deal with it at all. It is such a natural part of life that I choose to look at it logically to reason that men live and men die, and there is hardly much I can do about preventing that outcome. I don’t think that makes me a terrible person, but I may come off that way to some who would prefer to see me cry and deal instead of being stoic and being my usual self. I rationalize my feelings by appreciating the person’s life and hoping that they have lived a fulfilling life with no regrets. I suppose it will all come crashing down one day, but until then this is how I deal.
This post took a rather sad turn, I know, but this is my life right now. Hopefully, the next job is more fun and cheery. Take your medication, be safe and show your love to your loved ones.
Until Next Time…